Okay, this one had me laughing so hard I had to read it to my hubby... without the kids in the room:
A little old lady, well into her eighties, slowly enters the front door of a sex shop. Obviously very unstable on her feet, she wobbles the few feet across the store to the counter.
Finally arriving at the counter and grabbing it for support, she asks the sales clerk in a stuttering voice: "Dddooo youuuu hhhave dddddiilllldosss?"
The clerk, trying as hard as he could not to burst out laughing, politely replies: "Yes, we do have dildos. Actually we carry many different models. Can I help you find one?"
The old woman then asks: "Dddddoooo yyyouuuu ccaarrryy aaa pppinkk onnee, tttenn inchessss lllong aaandd aabboutt t twoo inchesss ththiickk...aaand rrunns by buhbuhbuhbuhbatteries?
The clerk responds, "Yes, we do."
She asks: "Ddddooo yyoooouuuu kknnnoooww hhhowww tttooo ttturrrnnn ttthe gaaaahdaaaam ssunoooffabbitch offffff?"
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