Wishin'... and Hopin'... and Thinkin'...

Right now I have that song in my head... but somehow I'm quite sure Ms. Dusty Springfield never meant them in the context that I'm using them. I'm still waiting to hear if my Cowboy story has been accepted. But until then, my writing life goes on.

Lately, I've been editing my "Appearances" story (which probably won't stay titled that... it's just how I first thought of it, lol). And I'm finding certain characters are coming up so much clearer than they originally did. They're growing and evolving in ways I am constantly surprised by. I wrote this one at the same time that Mysti wrote her Shut Up and Kiss Me when we did it as sort of a writing challenge. We were trying to get the ball rolling and get something done... anything done. Mysti popped up in my IM window and said, "I have an idea" which usually makes me cringe... some of her ideas are a bit out there. Like yanno... "I have an idea... we should write erotic romance!" :-D

So, Mysti had an idea... we needed to just make it a challenge. We had two days (might have been three...) to write a story that was approximately 7500 words. She finished hers long before I did, but I have a very hard time making my stories shorter... I want to share the information and more of the story. Anyway, the end result was my Cowboy story that originally ended at almost 13,000 words. But I wrote it within the time limit we'd set. I can remember thinking that I liked this story, but feeling pressed to finish in the alloted time. And I'm sure that showed in the first draft.

As so often happens with a story, it started out one way, and it quickly jumped over into a different direction than I had originally planned. Once I hit save that last time I popped up in her window... "Done!" At which point she demanded I send it to her immediately. Ugh, I really hate sending anyone a first draft... I know there are mistakes in there, I know that I've twisted the plot and left out the conflict. And while I do better with criticisms than I do with praise (go figure) I always feel a little sick to my stomach when I first open up a document that has been looked over by a crit partner and see all those crossed out lines and comments along the side. Each time I think, "That's an awful lot of red!"

Mysti looked at it and sent me her comments and edits. And my first thought? "WOW, that's an awful lot of red!" LOL. Then, after taking a deep breath, I read through all the comments and edits and then closed it and set it aside. I'm not a person who can do the first or second round of edits on my stories immediately. I have to read every comment that was made, and then let it germinate. Let it sit and let my subconscious brain pick it apart and put it back together again. Besides, I was in the middle of second or third round of edits on my Cowboy, so I continued to work on those.

Now, Cowboy is off, and waiting in someone else's hands and Appearances can take center stage. As I go through and add words... or change words that I apparently love too much (clenched anyone?)... I am once again amazed at the way a story can change and evolve and grow. Characters that may have been a bit bland can take on a whole new appearance. They can steal a scene, or in some cases an entire book. They can go from whiney and not all that admirable to bitchy but lovable. I love the journey I go on each time I step into the worlds in my head. I love how I can see, taste and touch what I'm trying to get down on the screen. I absolutely adore the voices in my head (yes, even when they are screaming at me that I'm not getting their stories down fast enough). Basically, I pretty much love everything about writing... okay, I could do without the emotional angst as I wait for a response to my inquiry... but nobody's perfect, lol. Maybe if I can keep my mind on editing Appearances and writing some more I won't go as crazy... then again, maybe not. Guess we'll all have to wait and see, lol.

The Heart of Romance

I wanted to wish everyone a very Happy New Year and hope y'all had a very Merry Christmas... or whatever holiday you celebrated.

I'd like to say that I spent my New Year in some wild fashion. That I pulled on my thigh-high stilettos and partied the night away. But that would be pure fantasy, and while there's nothing wrong with fantasy I wanted to delve into what happens AFTER the fantasy.

I have become very much a homebody since I got married and had children. I still occasionally go out with girlfriends but that's not my life. What did I do for New Year's Eve and Day? I pulled on my soft and comfy pjs and watched the inebriated masses on The Strip... on TV from the comfort of my home. I snuggled down next to my hubby and laughed as my children pranced around the house with their "leprechaun" hats (my boys' words not mine) and beads and blowers and poppers that blew forth a huge mess for me to clean up and silly jokes and cheap party favors for my kids to ooh and aah over. Yes, almost all my kids lasted... almost longer than I did. The littlest one gave up the battle around 10:30 but the rest of them rang in the New Year and drank sparkling grape juice with us.

On New Year's Day I stayed in my jammies, picked up the mess and snuggled some more with my hubby. I laughed with my kids as they trudged through the house. "Not so much fun the next day is it?" LOL, maybe they'll remember that lesson as they get older... somehow I doubt it.

What does this have to do with romance? Gimme a minute, I'm getting to that. As I sat on the couch with my darling husband's head in my lap as I ran my fingers through his hair and watched a Bond movie with him (not my favorite movie, but I told him to choose) I realized that THIS was what Romance was all about. This was why I loved reading and writing Romance. The After... after the wedding and the moving in together and the... well the hot sweaty sex... this is what is at the heart of Romance.


The ability to sit and touch and laugh with my beloved, to just be and to know that whenever we get the chance we'll be doing the same thing again. That is what I ultimately want my stories to be all about. I love reading about characters after their story is done. It's like meeting up with best friends for lunch to see how their lives are going. I love peeking back in and seeing them in those same moments I shared with the love of my life this past weekend. That to me is the true heart of romance and what we all eventually strive for, whether we write over-the-top BDSM erotic romance, Male/Male romance, LGBT, straight-sweet romance or any other variation you can think of. What we're striving for is those connections that make you and your characters sigh and smile and know that life is really worth living. No, I don't live a very exciting life... unless you count running to and from Scouts and teaching ballet or running the Gauntlet that is the grocery store with four children in tow... but it's my life, and it's the result of my very own Happy Ever After and I wouldn't trade it for anything in the world. And that... that is what I want every single one of my characters to experience.

How about you? How did you spend your holiday? Is that what you aim for with your writing as well? I know I've been a bit... absent lately, but I really want to know what y'all think.

The Journey

I grabbed this quiz off of a friend's blog. I thought it was very appropriate.

You are The Lovers

Motive, power, and action, arising from Inspiration and Impulse.

The Lovers represents intuition and inspiration. Very often a choice needs to be made.

Originally, this card was called just LOVE. And that's actually more apt than "Lovers." Love follows in this sequence of growth and maturity. And, coming after the Emperor, who is about control, it is a radical change in perspective. LOVE is a force that makes you choose and decide for reasons you often can't understand; it makes you surrender control to a higher power. And that is what this card is all about. Finding something or someone who is so much a part of yourself, so perfectly attuned to you and you to them, that you cannot, dare not resist. This card indicates that you have or will come across a person, career, challenge or thing that you will fall in love with. You will know instinctively that you must have this, even if it means diverging from your chosen path. No matter the difficulties, without it you will never be complete.

What Tarot Card are You?
Take the Test to Find Out.

This got me thinking... this is what I want to write about. THIS is what I hope to embody in my writing. I am proud to say that I am very much in love with my DH, and I don't see that ever changing. I want to put forth that wonder, that amazingly powerful feeling that the universe is FOR you. To me, it's all about the journey. The journey from discovery to understanding; from denial to submission. That journey that wrenches your guts, heats your blood and makes you want to cry with joy.

I know, rather deep for a Tuesday, but there you go. Mysti posted the other day on why she writes. Well, this is why I write: To tell the story of The Journey, my only wish is that I tell the story well.

Why?

Why do I write?

Some days I question my sanity. I spend hours of every day thinking about characters that sometimes seem as real as my next door neighbors. There are nights I'll wake up in the pitch black with a solution to a problem I've been worried about for days or even weeks.

Even more amazing is when my characters tell me things that I didn't have a clue about. She went found teenagers beating up and kitten when she was eight? Really? His mother and father considered his birth an accident? Oh? She's afraid of the color pink? He loves cucumbers dipped in mayonnaise?

It consumes me. Even when I'm not writing, I'm thinking about writing.

Why do I write?

Because I can't not write. And isn't that the best reason?