Funny Friday: Mermaid or Whale?

Recently, in a large French city, a poster featuring a young, thin and tan woman appeared in the window of a gym.

It said, “THIS SUMMER DO YOU WANT TO BE A MERMAID OR A WHALE?”

A middle aged woman, whose physical characteristics did not match those of the woman in the poster, responded publicly to the question posed by the gym.

To Whom It May Concern:

Whales are always surrounded by friends - dolphins, sea lions, curious humans. They have an active sex life, and they get pregnant and have adorable baby whales. They have a wonderful time with all their sea friends. They play and swim in the seas of the world, seeing wonderful places like Patagonia, the Bering Sea, and the coral reefs of Polynesia . Whales are wonderful singers and have even recorded CDs. They are incredible creatures and virtually have no predators other than humans. They are loved, protected and admired by almost everyone and everything in the world.

Mermaids, on the other hand, don't exist. If they did exist, they would be lining up outside the offices of psychoanalysts due to identity crisis. Fish or human? They wouldn’t have sex lives because stories tell that they kill men who get close to them. Besides, how could they have sex? Just look at them...where is IT? Therefore, they wouldn’t have kids either. And what man would want to get close to a girl who smells like a fish store?

The choice is perfectly clear to me; I want to be a whale.

We are in an age when media puts into our heads the idea that only skinny people are beautiful, but I prefer to enjoy an ice cream with my kids, a piece of chocolate with my friends, and a good dinner with a man who makes me shiver. With time, we gain weight because we accumulate so much information and wisdom in our heads. When there is no more room in our heads, the information and wisdom distribute out to the rest of our bodies.

So we aren't heavy, we are enormously cultured, educated and happy. Beginning today, when I look at my butt in the mirror, I will think, “Good grief, just look how smart I am!”