Tuesday, June 29, 2010

10 Things I've Learned...

Yup, that's right. I'm doing a 10 things post today. I'm doing it because I am at a total loss as to what in the world to write about today... I'm sure you really don't care to hear: "I'm still working on edits... and that's all!" Sooooo... I figured I would do a 10 Things list blog post. :-D

Bear with me as we go through them:

1) I am deathly afraid of commas!
Apparently I'm not the only one! I have found that there are many of us out there who are afraid of commas... only they won't admit it like that. Come on, suck it up. Join me: "Hi, my name is Kealie, and I'm afrad of commas!" Okay, not everyone is afraid of commas, but all authors have some issue with their writing that they constantly have to keep an eye out for in the midst of their edits. One friend is the queen of "passive" writing; another can't write certain words to save her life (you know which ones... this is the Menagerie after all). But everyone has issues or quirks in their writing that usually gets caught eventually but they are always there.

2) I'm not as smart as I thought I was!
I've found that there are only so many ways to say certain words that are associated with certain body parts... My thesaurus is overused... and I still have a hard time finding new words. Honey pot is one I will NEVER use... it just sounds so funny to me. It's hard to think of other words, but honestly, we all need to start a database. Who wants to do that? Any volunteers? No? Dangit...

3) My muse is a Hootchie Mama!
No, really, she is! She brings home so many new characters... that are almost all invariably men. "Look who followed me home! Can we keep him?" No, honey, we can't. Why don't you bring the girls back? "Cuz, they don't interest me. I just seek out the sexy man flesh." *sigh* So, see, she's Hootchie Mama, she's always got these men she's showing up with, and it's apparently my job to find their heroine. Ah, well, at least she likes to hang out with me.

4) My muse has a serious case of "I-don't-care-what-you're-doing-itis".
Nope, Hootchie Mama has no sense of propriety. She doesn't care if I'm driving, working, teaching a dance class, taking a shower... you get the idea. She will pop up in the middle of whatever it is I'm doing to lay out her idea that she has. And she's persnickety, so when I invariably have to blow her off to... yanno, finish showering or driving she takes her idea and hides it from me. Then I have to cajole her with chocolates and online "window shopping" to try and get her to give it back to me when I actually can sit and write it down!

5) My characters can give my kids a run for their money in the annoyance department!
Yup, my kids can be super annoying. They can bug me until I'm ready to scream. But, my characters are worse. I swear, they can give my rambunctious kids a run for their money! "Kealie... Kealie... Kealie... are you going to listen to me or do I need to take my story and go somewhere else?" "WHAT!" "When are you going to work some more on my story?" ARGH, when I can! And then hope they stomp off in a tizzy.

6) My BFF is an enabler.
Yes, she is... and she'll be the first to admit it. Enabler is defined as: : one that enables another to achieve an end; especially : one who enables another to persist in self-destructive behavior by providing excuses or by making it possible to avoid the consequences of such behavior. Now, we could mean this in so many way, but the main one is that my girl sends me off to find hotties... she pushes me to take a break when I need to... she also pushes me toward my writing and getting it published... and if THAT isn't self destructive than I don't know what is. :-D Thanks, Megan!

7) "Crazy" is relative.
Or in the south we call that "eccentric", maybe a little tetched. But if you stand and talk to any other writer you'll find that in many peoples' eyes... we're ALL a little crazy. It's all relative, though. Yes, I talk to myself as I wander through the store - but my characters are talking to me. Yes, I talk about fictional characters in my head like they are real people - but if I don't think of them as real people, then how will I make them real on the page? See... crazy is relative. And honestly, I don't really care if anyone thinks I'm crazy... I'm still me.

8) My characters can be mutinous pirates when they want.
"MUTINY! MUTINY! We want our sex NOW not later in the book after you build the tension... When ARRR ya gettin' us inta bed?" They hijack my story and the next thing I know I'm writing a scene that I didn't think they were ready for. But what do I know, I"m just the writer. I may have to start instituting the policy of forcing them to walk the plank... we'll see.

9) I'm not as big a slut as I thought I was!
I'm not! Why are you laughing? I'm finding that even I have boundaries. There are certain things that I can't even think on, much less write about them. Things that make me so squeamish that I have to hit my forehead if I even think of them. I once thought that I didn't have any inhibitions, that I could and would write anything and everything to titillate... ummm... yeah, nope. There are certain things I cringe at and I have to hit the delete button and hope I can fix the scene with something else. :::shudder::: Just thinking about them make me want to wash my brain out with bleach.

10) Anyone who says this business was easy - LIED, or never did it themselves.
There is nothing easy about writing for publication. Absolutely nothing comes easy. And anyone who tells you differently is a LIAR - or they never did it themselves. It's worth it, and sometimes it's downright fun! But it's never easy. Even when I think I have an idea and the story is pretty fleshed out, there are so many things that need to be taken care of after the fact to bring that story to life. If I ever find the person who says "Writing for publication is easy!" I'm gonna put my 4 inch stiletto bootheel up their butt sooooo far they'll become best friends with a proctologist. Yes, I know, what a vivid picture to leave you with. Sorry bout that... nah, not really. :-D

Anyway, how about the rest of you? What have you learned about being a writer? Do any of these ring a bell? What's your favorite part of the process?


Kayelle Allen said...

This was excellent. Where did you find such great buttons? I love the HAHA wait What? I've said exactly that! In fact, all of these fit me. I shouldn't be surprised. After all, we are friends, and you know what they say about great minds. Okay, okay, but I still think it fits us. =^_^=

Kealie Shay said...

LOL, I got them off of Facebook. They have the Flair application that I just love. I have so much flair I could be Employee of the Month at Chotchkie's.

Yeah, I've said the "HAHA! Wait, what?" quite a few times. My sister was the one who gave that to me... she knows me far to well. And she's another of those great minds that thinks like us, lol. :-D