The Menagerie welcomes Dana Littlejohn to the blog today on her tour with Goddess Fish Promotions!! We're excited to showcase her latest release, To Have and To Hold, and share an embarrassing moment (yep... she was THAT brave!).
Even better, Dana will be awarding five prizes, one randomly chosen commenter at each tour stop will win a prize. All are promo items displaying a different Dana Littlejohn design: 2- t-shirts (size XL), 1 coffee mug, 1 ink pen (black ink) and 1 baseball style hat, so leave one today and then follow her tour to increase your chances of winning. Her tour posts are listed here.
Now, on to the good stuff! Take it away, Dana!!
Hello everyone, thanks for having me at The Menagerie. As I looked over the questions to see what I would talk about today I came across this topic and burst into laughter. I decided to tell you guys about my most awkward intimate moment.
It’s been a number of years since this has happened, back when sex was brand new to me. My current boyfriend and I were the only couple in our little group that wasn’t having sex. So, of course, the peer pressure was monstrous and I didn’t take long before we cracked. We finally broke down to see what the big deal was about and I was not impressed. It did not go as smoothly as it did in those romance books I had read not did it feel as good as my friends led me to believe. It was painful, awkward and bloody and I promptly told my boyfriend that I wasn’t going to do it again.
Of course his experience however, was quite the opposite. He, we’ll call him Larry for the sake of this blog, thought it was the best thing since the development of fat free chocolate pudding to a chocoholic. Larry all but harassed me every day after that to do it again. I shut him down at every turn. I saw no upside for me.
After three months of unsuccessfully begging, Larry went to his friends for some advice. They told him to try oral sex on me. They assured him hat if he was good I would let him have regular sex with me again. Now, again, this was long ago. Not only had I never had sex with anyone before hat I had no clue men even did hat to women. The thought was disgusting to me. I mean, really, you pee from there.
Thus, Larry put his plan into action. We went to the movies, went to dinner, hung out after that to play pool and then went back to his house for cheesecake that he made. Now, I knew he was setting me up for something, but I was totally unprepared when he asked if he could kiss my pussy. Needless to say, I was completely freaked out. I thought he was completely insane. I was on the verge of firing him as my boyfriend when he appealed to the analytical side of my brain. After reminding me of how much he loved me and how I’ve always rusted him before and he promises me no pain was involved, I gave in.
I laid on his bed trying to will my heart beat to slow down, knowing my shivering had nothing to do with the air conditioned room. His hands were shaking more than mine when he slid my shorts and panties down. Larry paused for a moment and my mind took off on a tangent. Just as I thought he was going to change his mind because I was build like a freak or something down there, I felt the sizzle of his tongue connecting to my most intimate place.
Larry seemed hesitant at first merely licking me like a lollypop or a ice cream cone, but after a short while he increased he pace.
I got the impression that he liked what he was doing. He gripped my hips and pushed his face further in to me and something turned on inside me. A burst of heat boiled within me. My skin was hot and sweaty and I felt good all over. It was amazing. My hands were gripping the sheets and for the first time in my life I moaned in pleasure.
Larry moved my hands to his head as he continued tasting me. Instinctively I ground my hips and the pleasure increased. Larry started to moan and I gripped a handful of his hair. An amazing feeling started to build inside me. I had no clue what it was but I wanted more of it. I guided his head to make that happen and the unthinkable happened. I farted.
Everything seemed to freeze in time. My eyes were so wide I thought they’d pop out my head. Larry stopped moving and looked up at me with a raised brow, but before he could say a word I leaped from the bed. Snatching my clothes from the other end I ran from his room and into the living room. Tearing streamed down my face blinding me as I redressed. I dashed by the sofa grabbing my purse and I was out the door leaving Larry voice calling my name behind me.
Looking back on that first time, I find it hysterically funny and laugh my butt off every time I think about it. Larry and I even laughed about it years later, but at the time I just wanted to die. Some time passed before I let someone else do that to me, afraid it may happen again. However, the whole time before all that felt so good that I had to do it again, but it wasn’t with Larry.
Very well, Menagerie Authors, now that I have shared one of the painful, awkward moments in my life, I hope you will stop by my site and check out some of the awkward moments of my characters' lives.
Thanks for having me!
Yes! Finally, a notch on the positive side of the sex chart,” her brain screamed joyfully as her body prepared itself for his entry.
He knew where to touch her, where to move, when to go fast and when to slow down. It was wonderful! Just as it always was, just like she remembered. She started to climb that golden staircase to bliss, reveling in the feeling he was giving her and then…it was over. He stopped.
Her eyes popped open. “Christian? What’s wrong? What happened?”
“I’m sorry, Andrea. I guess I got a little too excited,” he confessed, and rolled off her.
She stared at the ceiling wide-eyed. “What? You got—”
“I know, baby. I’m sorry. I promise I’ll make it up to you tomorrow.”
Andrea still stared at the ceiling as he moved around next to her. “Huh? But—” She heard his soft snores and turned over to him. “Christian?” She pushed his shoulder. “Christian!”
“Tomorrow, Andrea, I promise. I love you,” he mumbled, before his snores filled the room.
She muffled a frustrated outburst and then pulled the sheets over them. She turned over and punched her pillow.
Facebook @ liljohndana
Twitter @ authordanalittlejohn